Losing Weight and Saving Money

26 May 2014 · Montreal · 

So how do you lower the calories of a large bag of organic nacho chips?

The first time I tried it I downed a whole bag of 260 calories for 18 chips (think 10 times 260). I am pork afterward.

when I finished the attack I looked at the very little bit of chips left and thought of what to do. Next week I bought guacamole, plain yogurt, salsa, and baby carrots. And you know what? with half a plate of carrots and a few skinny chips, I did fine.

Update: May 26, 2019

Life goes on. So I am doing what the doctor said and buying better quality food and guess what happens: all of a sudden I have credit card debt. And what a debt. So I have to cut down on the spending for the food and eat what the residence serves. the problem: their diet got me into serious trouble in the first place. Weight and blood sugar level goes up again. Finally, I figure that okay we have a kitchen to cook things: certainly we are allowed to use the toaster and the dishes never mind the coffee machine for hot water. So I can prepare my food. It's a little trouble but I can do it. I will eat in the kitchen that is open all the time: 24 hours, right? All of a sudden there's a notice on the cafeteria door. The cafeteria is closed most of the afternoon. That means You. So I have to do my dishes. use my own bread knife. No toaster. No hot water. No milk machine. etc. etc. Restaurants are too expensive: you have to eat good food or what's the use. Weight goes up. Blood sugar rises. Back to square one again.

I received a present in return. An act of kindness I remember.

I meditate with my Headspace app each morning and now I am learning about happiness. It said to think about an act of kindness that was done towards you.  I remember when I held a lottery to give some stuff. No one ever returned anything except for one person. He was associated with a church that had a Bazaar and in particular, the lady that held these bazaars. I had spoken (to myself I think) about a topic that concerns me personally. the fact that in my world no one ever returns any gifts or favors. Not to me.
 
I think they might be doing magnificent community acts that are for me too or they will wait until an opportunity presents itself. But return presents, never.  So the lady asked me do I accept things in return and I told her that my mother did not accept money in return but she thought it was appropriate, for friends to say thank you with presents. If you buy something in the store, the lady and I knew, you give the bill with the present so if it does not suit someone they can go to the store and get what they want.  So when the gentleman who worked with her in her church bazaar won a purse, he came back with a wonderful gift from a store that gave part of its proceeds to third world countries.  It was a brand new blue tapestry. This was years ago.  But I remember this occasion touched me deeply.  And I thank you both for it.

Aside: Now, there's just one thing.  I have no room in my tiny working living space. And I would accept most gratefully if someone returned a favor that they received from me with cash. I don't know. This is a great step for me.  It seems that any sizeable amount of money is taken away. In other words, the fluid capital system stops before it reaches me. But in a perfect world, I would like cash or something to help me stop my poverty.

My Unspoken Thoughts: an Outline May 21st, 2019

May 21, 2019

Trying to speak
Finally I am able to write dowm some random thoughts. I will send this outline out to you, dear reader in the hope that in the next few days I will be able to go through it to make it clearer.  Let me give you a definition of poor: Poor is having so much stuff to do just to get through a simple day, there is not enough energy enough to even begin to concern oneself with ones own human rights.

things to do:

• the credit card account has some discrepancies. I have to find out why I am have supposed to have withdrawn some money when I did not use the credit card.
• I have to call the welfare help line to ask why this enormous amount of money is being demanded in taxes. What amount of money am I entitled to each year and is it legitimate for the accountant to ask for this sum in taxes.
• I will add to list when my thoughts have cleared more.

1.   Test pilot and the money

Each time someone gave me money the money was taken away, no problem. I will give you a case in point of the mockery of a hardworking person and the system.  AN air force team took the money because a test pilot wanted to have an opportunity to test out a brand-new plane. He did not have the money to do this and his boss said, in front of me, that if he can take my money without any problem then he has the money and he can do what he like. He spent the money on the plane and went up in the air. In one second the plane was totaled and all the money gone.  The government official would not give him any money but he found mine.

First of a all, I do not understand how all this could happen n the space of a few hours unless everything was all set.  Second all, because I do not speak to anyone, I hear my own thoughts.  I wonder can you spend thirty million dollars on a test plane that crashes right way? Or was the money taken just for personal use?  I wonder.

A.      Over $1000. An unheard amount

                     i.            I am both ostracized and isolated in my women<s shelter. I do not speak to anyone for days. I actually speak my thought to only two people: proven aggressors. My brother and my psychiatrist. And both of these people I speak to for only a few minutes. So, it hard to speak at all, never mind in defences of myself. I have gotten my income tax return from the government. And for the second year they are asking me for over one thousand dollars to pay back in taxes. I have nothing like that in the back. It was so incredibly difficult to pay back this money the first time I cannot believe that the government wants this enormous sum every year. Can they not wait until have even a normal life?

                   ii.            The idea comes again and again to me. How come they are asking me for taxes to such an extent for the first time in my life when I am sixty years old? Can it be because the shelter is run by an austere religious order (who’s ideas fill me with horror by the way) it is assumed that I too shun material possessions. I have to tell you that the order has a lot more going for them then just hating everything that I have done with years. Or even more likely, can it be something that is promoted by the people who have use of everything that I am supposed to have, that I refuse everything as well.

                 iii.            So meagre is my money I am confined to my room in a very hostile environment. Yeats and years go by and I amore an more victim to brutal aggressors or are so casual that complete silencing does’ seem worthy of noticing.

                 iv.            I speak to someone every two weeks and I forgot to tell my psychiatrist that the government is asking me for an unheard amount of money. And that I’m scared

                   v.            I only speak to my psychiatrist and my brother who I only see on the phone. He has for bid me to speak to any kind of financial advice including the accountant and also the investment counsellor.

2.    The Debt Diet

                     i.            I got a tape on how to avoid debt and pay off the money you owe. It was by Ophrah Winfrey. All were about families which I’m too poor to have a family. As a matter fact I’m too poor to have a friend. And too insane. Who solutions for even the poorest couple were so incredibly out of my league I was finally face-to-face with the extent of my poverty which I live from day today. A long time ago I grew accustomed to go for walks to exercise because its free.  This is the only thing that I can afford. There’s very little information to help people as poor as me so I try to glean what I can from the conversations that exist on the net.  Every thing one is about people who have enough money to travel, to have a family to have a house and a car.  Okay I guess I understand because why help people so poor as me. There’s a lot more money to make with opportunity.  The problem is to me these people are not at all destitute.

                   ii.            So much is my destitution severe, financially IWatch as your penitents from the religious orders around the world treat with contempt the small or expensive things that I offer them in payment or at holidays.   So much for trying to pay off things with barter.

                 iii.            But the problem is, concerning that, is as they go around with the signs of their personal poverty, such as neat but shabby attire, I cannot help but noticing that these very same people have use of a fleet of cars.  I cannot also not help but assume they have written off more than one outfit to wear, not because it is difficult but because they are from a culture that does this in the first place. All the things they refuse as superfluous come from a background and a culture that treats these things with contempt in the first place.  Okay perhaps that’s a little narrow for me but the crux of the issue is as your virtuous people come in symbols of poverty, I, as someone who I is truly poor, cannot help but notice that often your symbols are just symbols not reality. This first of all damages their reputation to me, and second of all makes me fear not giving to these people.  In other words, I listen too much to most hostile of policies without question or hope, simply because the woman has a whole bunch of people with her, often immoral I might add are not averse to stealing if something worthwhile comes to me. (Often this valuable thing comes after a great deal of intense work sometimes years, sometimes, incredibly stressful and sometimes brutally hurtful).  In their words, in the name or piety. But not at the time of the theft. Not all all. At that time it is the question of power.  And years and years go by making me more a more isolated.

                 iv.             I never had a credit card before and I had a lot of mountain money to pay off. However, it doesn’t make sense to me not to have a credit card. The solutions of cutting up both your debit card from the bank and your credit card are so incredibly limiting the only way I could figure out that the solutions are mentioned in the first place is the people who talk about something poverty or incredibly wealthier than me.

                   v.             

3.   The notE i O U $1000 and the justice system

Over 60 years ago or 40 years ago I was put in an instrument of torture so that my house and all my positions would be signed over to my aggressors. Still in my instrument of torture my aggressors took me to a judge or whoever is responsible for me signing over the house. I have been going to the school system since a small H. It is illegal not to I thought. Therefore, one of the first things I learned to do was read and write another thing I learned very fast was the extreme importance of the lost system, a lawyer and contracts. Desperate and a freight and watching a merciless system I tried to give the person which is the only think I gave a promise Siri note. I said I owe you a house and I put a picture of a box with a triangle on it. This is the documentation that has given the house to my aggressors for over 40 years and there seems to be no problem with it the question in my mind is since the government is asking me for taxes for the first time in my life now I am 60 is are they still texting me for the house that I don’t own or do I. How could this system for 40 years give everything I have two people who are torturing me with a promise Siri note like that and then call me homeless and a bum who lives outside on the street it is this very government that is simply asking me now for over $1000 on my meagre some of money that I live in so poor I am I look with all as people who have even a nice room on the fourth floor big because the wealthier I belong to an order who are also wealthier and always asking for money. I hope because of the circumstances no problem in assuming that this justice system will treat we with the utmost her if I do not pay this money back. I also wonder what else are they going to ask me since I’m supposed to have a house and a building and a business and I don’t know if it’s true I have no documentation are they waiting at the line chomping at the bit to throw me out on the street again and say at the same time then I’d love it because I don’t Accept money. Have every confidence that this horrible place will treat me with the atmosphere as they have for most of my life and because of money.             

Desperate and afraid and watching a merciless system I tried to give the person which is the only think I gave a promissory note. I said I owe you a house and I put a picture of a box with a triangle on it. This is the documentation that has given the house to my aggressors for over 40 years and there seems to be no problem with it the question in my mind is since the government is asking me for taxes for the first time in my life now I am 60 is are they still texting me for the house that I don’t own or do I   

If your order and it’s extended community or much wealthier or more connected than me keep on sending me proven violent aggressors to handle even the basic simple things once in a while so that they not even legal can I live how do they expect anything but aggressors to address and they do not only am I confined to my room I have been forced to shut up and not speak for over 12 years which is why I cannot express myself. Such is a bad institution which is where I presently live.

4.   Getting attacked to go Home and be with the family

One of the things that have been going on for years are invitations by my brother to come to his house which is far away and celebrate holidays with “the family”.  They, by the way have my name. For decades I went to their house a two-hour bus ride from where I live, and inevitably I was assaulted on the way.  (Hence, I had a psychiatric problem: repeated head injuries for violent attach).  Now with rest and food I have the ability to say no to these invitations.  It seems to me that people have been taking advantage of these violent attacks to claim I incompetent of handling any kind of material possessions or money.  Why I was getting attacked and stopping these attacks did not seem to be of any concern throughout these years.

losing my apple.3

So I  might lose my apple iPhone.  I have been told to spend all my time and (money) to concentrate on eating properly because I  am on a lot of medication.  They just increased it.  SO they said that I should not be weak when I get medication to make me healthier.  The one thing that I have to do to function normally is to eat properly.  The deal is, forget about everything and just eat.  Easier said than done.  First thing.  I hate to do it.  I hated to cook so much that I didn't"t.  When I got out the halfway house a way back, I looked like a large green lemon.  To me, a good day was going out to restaurants for each meal.  The deal was to find places to eat in which the meal cost under $5.00.  (there are).  But I was spending my money on performance then. So now I have more money. Right.  But Jesus the money goes so fast.

So I said to myself that the cell phones got to go.  As a matter of fact, so does the internet. Never mind the fact that I won<t be able to continue the work that I am doing,  And never mind that I won't have the phone to help me find out how to get tot he places I need to.  Or what exactly kind of coffee drink I am purchasing (i.e. what is the difference between a cappuccino, a latte, and a flat white).  Or what in hell the government is telling me about my welfare cheque (Like how much money can I have in the banks at one time before they take it away). never mind all that.  The question is what am I going to do when it goes.

The first thing I thought of is if the computers go I will just concentrate on y archives.  I.e. all the paper stuff.  But I have to do that all the time anyway.  Computer or no.  And I swear as god is my witness I will fight to the death if  I have to if the government rep in any way forces me to take on yet another degrading job that no one wants to do to earn my way on the meagre charity that I receive. Its really a waste that I have an elite education and with all the skills that I have learned, I am using my resources to fight to handle the most base jobs available that look vaguely clerical or housewifely. Never mind that I am using a top education to learn how to eat to function (just that) in a situation of extreme poverty.  Yes I know very well there are worse off.  I am threatened with this all the time.  They sa there are worse off than me.  translation: you can get there if you gripe.

SO the issue is what am I going to do with my time if I have no computer. It took a while but I figured out part of it.  Along with working with my archives, I will start where I left off before my own computer.  When I have the energy I will go to the library.  And also, I will restart my habit of handwriting my letters and sending them out to individuals.  As for how I am going to occupy myself during transit,  I suppose I can start hand-sketching again.  I will use my ipod because I don<t have to pay each month to use it. But often it doesn<t work on the bus. (or outside).

b

By the way, in the article, before I mentioned that I bought a life long contract with a phone company to use a phone.  That included any monthly fees that would be incurred.  the trouble has alway been that all my money is periodically taken away and I find myself up a creek.  So it might happen again. Unless I find out what happened to my phone with the contract.

Hopefully, I can get it back.  I am supposed to be able to get a new phone if it is lost or a new edition is put out on the market.  That will take care of the problem that might ocur if undesirable elements are now in possesssion of the thing.

If you have any information about the whereabouts of the thing please contact me at:

kfabain.kathynotes@gmail.com or

wwwfacebook.com/theartfabiancompany

or

www.twitter.com. my handle is @KKfabian.

ora at linked in (I don't know what the hell the address is)

looking for my apple 2

I am going to lose my iPhone.  It's going to be a big loss because I have been doing a lot of work on it.  I have an iPod but it doesn't have as good as a reception as the phone and many times I am stopped from my work through interference.

So my mind has been on the phone and a couple of days ago I realized I have another Apple system in my past.  You see, I have been paid lots of money in the past and it has always,(painfully) been taken away from me (after a whole lot work and adjusting to life I must say).  So a certain aristocrat suggested that when I get a lot of money I invest it in things.  Like real estate. or, what is more, important for the issue at hand, a great not just good computer system.

So I thought since I had been making the money through my computer work that I would try to get a lifetime contract of my mobile phone and computer ( I believe). That meant no matter how it broke down or I lost it the phone and whatever else in the system would be replaced by the company. As I recall it apple corporation but I am not sure.  I know it was owned by corporate Japan because the first reaction to my request was to turn it down as impossible.  I had at my time several million dollars for the project but the price I was willing to pay was not the issue.

It seemed that the whole thing would not go through and then a gentleman from Japan started talking to me and being an artsy person.  I am an artsy person which is actually looked down upon I thought a lot.  And then this really important person stepped up and said that he too was an impractical artsy person.  And we hit it off i that manner and I got the system ( and paid for it by the way).

Well, you remember I talked about being able to keep the money that I earned (and solutions so it would not be taken away)  Well suffice to say I no more expensive phone and computer system. I have a simple Old iPhone. and I might lose it soon. I even forgot until very recently about the other phone.  the firm might not have been apple but it was certainly Japanese.  I remember the kind artsy gentleman.  The thing is, I would like to know if you know, dear reader,how I can find out where that phone is, first of all. And second of all, it I can get my phone at least back  ( or a new one as the contract said that I would always get the newest phone as it was invented).  I really don't want to stop my work.  So if you know where I can inquire about the phone please write me on one of the social networks like linked in or Facebook or twitter  at @KKfabian.

 You can also email me at kfabian.kathynotes@gmail.com.

My facebook page is at www.facebook.com/theartfabiancompany.

Fighting for my Apple 1

I sm going to lose my apple.  What apple? My Apple Iphone.  The thought has been with me quite recently because my government pension has been cut.  I inherited some money from my deceased parents and apparently I am not to be affluent with the small sum I will receive from the estate and the welfare pension combined.  So the government pension has been cut quite dramatically. And I am watching the money I saved getting more and more meager.

On the subject, apparently somewhere on a welfare pension is not supposed to have more than $2500 in liquid assets in any given time.  It has been a hell of a job finding out exactly what THAT means.  Finally a couple of days ago I found the explanation.  Liquid capital is anything that can be spent immediately without losing its value.  Real estate and art are not liquid assets because as I well know if you sell them immediately you are bound to get next to nothing near their value.  But money in the bank is money in the bank and if it is spent there is no penalizing.

What I did not understand was the following. If you have recurring costs does the money in the bank that is counted as liquid assets exclude that?  What about savings?  The answer, I recently found out is that it doesn't matter what you are using the money for.  Rent or in case of emergency.  All that matters is the fact that the money can be taken out immediately without its value depreciating.

So my doctor said that for health reasons I should just concentrate on getting the right nutrition for my needs.  (I have been weak a lot and cannot work). They said I need good solid cooking in my stomach. As  I live in a residence with many people that are not interested in being too mobile it has been up to me to shop for more solid foods so that I could do my work.  And baby the money in the bank is going fast.  So my thoughts have been going to my Apple iPhone.  If things continue in this manner I am going to have to unplug the phone. This is a royal drag because I have been filing when I have been on transit.  I have a lot of stuff to do.  One is to sign my artwork that will be going online.  I have tons of it.  SO I have been working on my phone as I go do my errands (like picking up food and the like_.  It makes the traveling a lot more easy to take. So I have been doing a lot of thinking about losing my iPhone.