Why is half of my reward money being given to someone else?

I had, after performing an act of heroism to a high placed dignitary, been asked as to what I would like as a token of gratitude for the act of heroism rendered.  I asked that I would be given enough money so as to avoid the dismal fate of a senior without any funds.  I stated because of my dismal situation to date, that the sum should not a small one as it would be used for the rest of my life.  As this discussion took place someone came up and said my brother should receive some money as well. Since he was much more affluent than men and I was already embarrassed I felt this was inappropriate but I do believe, as far as memory serves me, my brother receive some funds as well and this despite the fact he had refused to take place in any of the action concerning this act since it was to be dangerous. He stated, not for the first and last time, he had responsibility to his family and did not want to get involved.  IF he is still receiving half of the money I was to receive for life, well, then that this twice the sum of a meagre fund.

The only trace of this money existing and being given to others in my family is in my memory. There is no trace of the practice in any form through the auspices of the government either through paper, conversation or in the yearly tax statements. So, has my reward money been divided in half, one part going to my brother who is much more affluent than me? 

Now neatly, without a sound, without a problem, do I receive every month half of the money that I was originally supposed to have? Is the money given without a problem and without any visible trace by the system? Is this standard? How come I didn't even think about this possibility until now? Nor question it.

And second, when I was told that I should give half my reward money to the other members of my family, (who are much more affluent and financially stable than me, not to mention, hostile) how come I agreed? And how did I look? did I look incapable of handling money? or contemptuous of money? or a Wastrel?   Am I being promoted as this? And most of all, how come I agreed and have not said a word about this practice until now. Is the grateful dignitary being thus twice imposed on? Am I being looked upon as greedy? Or unconcerned about changing my impoverished situation which is considerable.

One more thing.  If I did not know that I am being represented as willingly giving half my reward money to another more affluent entity, then how can I state that this is far from true. As a matter of fact, how can I defend myself?  If I am under the assumption that the sum is a normal sum of money that one can expect to live from the state pension, how can I protest the sum given to my brother when faced with a condemning and sensitive state system?

Horror of Being Like Someone's Grandmother

I have always had a horror of being like someone's beloved grandmother who I had known in childhood.  The prodigal son took his grandmother's welfare cheque each money because she did not need it.

To me this seemed like an awful thing to do. The woman had her bed in a small room that was also the room where the television set was.  It was a bed that folded into a couch. When it was hockey night, the whole family would use the room to watch the game.  She was never out of the house and she never wore anything but an old robe. And if she was not in this little room, she was in the kitchen cooking for the family. I have always had a horror of being like this woman. The grim life of this woman was certainly due to the utmost indignity of her being deprived of any money.

I have several times in my life been told that I have no right to money. I for one, would really like to know why. Is it because I must have the same fate as this woman?

In my life I fought as much as I could to avoid this fate. So, it is with a fair degree of horror that I have discovered, and no one told me this, it is just from having a lot of time on my hands to think and rest, that the money I received from social aid, through the auspices of a benevolent V.I.P. from another country, might have been taken by my family

Pondering The Shackles of Poverty. Holiday Season

The Shackles of Poverty

It is now the holiday time and as the celebrations for most of the world go on. For me it is a time for a reality check. I find myself shackled with the bonds of poverty. I have, until now, carefully been watching my money seem to disappear. Financial necessity is forcing me to retreating more and more to my studio.  On the one hand this is good because I am getting a lot of me art work and collection organized.  I can see where I have gone and where I am going to.

The dismal feeling, I have when faced with mown poverty is heightened as my dentist tells me it is time to have my teeth capped. I don’t know how much that will cost and it worries me.  I, however, know that is frankly time to take care of my teeth in that manner.

I am on a diet and I cannot eat everything that the home serves. Sometimes I just forget that when I do, my carbs, calories and protein skyrocket. So rather than aggravating the situation and not having the means to buy more appropriate food, I diet the poor way. I lie down and calm down instead of eating food that I know is damaging to me. Let's call not eating the poor man's diet(lol).

All this to say I have been doing a lot of lying and thinking. I think about the past. I think about the future. I think about mistakes and how come I don't have any money in the first place.

I know the reason I don’t have any money is because of my being placed in a shelter. I stopped trying to make money or to save it because the only thing that I thought would happen is that it would be confiscated by an unfeeling system that deals with the abandoned and the homeless. As time went on this thought was proven right.

However, this has been going on a long time and as old age is near, I am going to attempt to rectify the situation.  The going is tough and slow.

What happens to a trust foundation money after I die.

I had a meeting with a social worker a couple of years ago.  The conversation centered pretty much around money because I am very concerned with my impoverished financial position.  If you are a social worker than, at the very least, it should be clear that a condition of poverty is an undesirable social condition ( I thought).  At least that's what I thought.  Upon some further ad-hoc reading I have understood that charitable organizations are forbidden by law to change in any way financial situations of their clients. At least that's what I understood.

Be that as it may, The subject came up that I am unable to touch most of the inherited estate. Since the money is in trust for me that meant, I thought that the money that was untouched would be very useful for my brother and his family. I thought that if I did not use the money what was left would be inherited by his heirs. This would mean that there is a direct conflict of interest and my brother would work very hard to have the estate monies remain intact for his heirs. And I would be prohibited from touching any of it.

The social worker assured me that this was not the case.  If the money that was put in trust it could in no way be used by anyone else. If I did inherit a large estate and I could not touch any of it and lots remained after my death it would simply go back to the government coffers.  (So what).

In my dealings with such matters I had found that in theory, the money does indeed go back to the government treasury untouched. But in practice, this is often not the case.  It is not very good for a government to receive untouched money because they are the ones who minted it in the first place. An intact sum of money given back to the treasury means that the original owner could not use the bread. The more bread he made, the smarter he/she was.  the more they leave it. the less they were able to use It. this the value of the money can be depreciated if the treasury receives a too large sum of money from an estate.i have encountered canny organizations that keep abreast of the latest illnesses and death in the hope that the government will slip the money to them instead of having it go, in front of unhappy eyes, unused, back to the treasury.

It is a relieved government official that can get rid of that embarrassing problem by simply giving he bread to this or that charity.  Thus often charities, schools or other organizations watch obituaries and hospitals to see if they could suggest the use of unwanted monies.

So. Where does that leave me?

The Aftermath of the Inheritance

Its been a few years since my mother passed away and much has happened.  Despite my efforts, I received very little if anything at all from the family estate.  I thought that the house was given to a supposedly benevolent gentleman to cover any costs that would be incurred if he took care of my life.
Just before he died my father wept that he was grieving he did not leave me anything after he passed away (in the form of cash or even enough money to get by).  So I thought that first of all there will be two houses.  And second of all, as you can see in thins blog there was a lot of expensive things that my parent collected in their older years.
Since I had no success keeping large sums of money in my possession, since they were stolen or confiscated both in and out the court system, I thought that at least I could benefit from an inheritance.
Well, it's all very fine and dandy to have two houses and a complex estate as well as a company and a building.  But if you do not leave a good solid will it does your heirs no good.
When my father passed away my mother's health and sanity was gravely troubled so I thought we made a deal that she should, only in name, inherit the money and the estate.  She would not have the power to do what she wanted with it but would be able to benefit from it.  And in turn, through goodwill, I would be protected when she passed away.
Unfortunately, that was not the case.  Suffice to say that the money I was left when my mother passed away was just above the amount I received from social security. Not only that it is not indexed so each year the sum decreases. I had the great misfortune to see everything in that house disappear: jewelry, furniture and very disturbingly all the papers that she collected official and otherwise.
I have asked repeatedly for copies of the deeds of the houses and have met with no luck either from my brother who manages the estate nor the government officials. I have not seen my brother for more than a year and only talk to him on the phone.
On paper, I have found two things.  I am registered with the provincial government as part of the shareholders and board in the company that my father left me. However, I receive no salary whatsoever and I have no documentation as to how much the company makes, now much, if at all my brother gets as a salary.  More disturbingly I each year declare my taxes as someone who lives below the poverty level and is completely intellectually incapacitated.  I wonder if the government will accept the fact that I share my father's company with my brother taking these factors into account.
As for the will my mother left, I have absolutely no power whatsoever to use any of the money that was left to us.  It is to pass directly to my brothers' children.  My brother is supposed to be the one responsible to handle my needs and his reaction to this is to wash his hands off everything. I am to live on my own with the money that I inherited and the government social assistance that I merit because the sum is so meager.
The question I ask is if I declare each year by the auspic3s of a chartered accountant that all the money I have is so below the poverty line that I must resort to social assistance, then Do I have the right, according to the government, and on paper,  that I  own that company that my father and mother left me if I have no record of anything at all that I receive from it and have never done so.  Especially since I have absolutely no power, according to my mothers will to do or learn about anything in it. Nor will I receive anything from it except this very symbolic and meager sum I now receive.
I have read that in your late middle age people have a false illusion that everything is okay if they live below the poverty line because that is relatively able-bodied and independent. But this a false paradise.  You are walking a tight rope and if anything goes wrong there will be severe problems.

Losing Weight and Saving Money

26 May 2014 · Montreal · 

So how do you lower the calories of a large bag of organic nacho chips?

The first time I tried it I downed a whole bag of 260 calories for 18 chips (think 10 times 260). I am pork afterward.

when I finished the attack I looked at the very little bit of chips left and thought of what to do. Next week I bought guacamole, plain yogurt, salsa, and baby carrots. And you know what? with half a plate of carrots and a few skinny chips, I did fine.

Update: May 26, 2019

Life goes on. So I am doing what the doctor said and buying better quality food and guess what happens: all of a sudden I have credit card debt. And what a debt. So I have to cut down on the spending for the food and eat what the residence serves. the problem: their diet got me into serious trouble in the first place. Weight and blood sugar level goes up again. Finally, I figure that okay we have a kitchen to cook things: certainly we are allowed to use the toaster and the dishes never mind the coffee machine for hot water. So I can prepare my food. It's a little trouble but I can do it. I will eat in the kitchen that is open all the time: 24 hours, right? All of a sudden there's a notice on the cafeteria door. The cafeteria is closed most of the afternoon. That means You. So I have to do my dishes. use my own bread knife. No toaster. No hot water. No milk machine. etc. etc. Restaurants are too expensive: you have to eat good food or what's the use. Weight goes up. Blood sugar rises. Back to square one again.

I received a present in return. An act of kindness I remember.

I meditate with my Headspace app each morning and now I am learning about happiness. It said to think about an act of kindness that was done towards you.  I remember when I held a lottery to give some stuff. No one ever returned anything except for one person. He was associated with a church that had a Bazaar and in particular, the lady that held these bazaars. I had spoken (to myself I think) about a topic that concerns me personally. the fact that in my world no one ever returns any gifts or favors. Not to me.
 
I think they might be doing magnificent community acts that are for me too or they will wait until an opportunity presents itself. But return presents, never.  So the lady asked me do I accept things in return and I told her that my mother did not accept money in return but she thought it was appropriate, for friends to say thank you with presents. If you buy something in the store, the lady and I knew, you give the bill with the present so if it does not suit someone they can go to the store and get what they want.  So when the gentleman who worked with her in her church bazaar won a purse, he came back with a wonderful gift from a store that gave part of its proceeds to third world countries.  It was a brand new blue tapestry. This was years ago.  But I remember this occasion touched me deeply.  And I thank you both for it.

Aside: Now, there's just one thing.  I have no room in my tiny working living space. And I would accept most gratefully if someone returned a favor that they received from me with cash. I don't know. This is a great step for me.  It seems that any sizeable amount of money is taken away. In other words, the fluid capital system stops before it reaches me. But in a perfect world, I would like cash or something to help me stop my poverty.

My Unspoken Thoughts: an Outline May 21st, 2019

May 21, 2019

Trying to speak
Finally I am able to write dowm some random thoughts. I will send this outline out to you, dear reader in the hope that in the next few days I will be able to go through it to make it clearer.  Let me give you a definition of poor: Poor is having so much stuff to do just to get through a simple day, there is not enough energy enough to even begin to concern oneself with ones own human rights.

things to do:

• the credit card account has some discrepancies. I have to find out why I am have supposed to have withdrawn some money when I did not use the credit card.
• I have to call the welfare help line to ask why this enormous amount of money is being demanded in taxes. What amount of money am I entitled to each year and is it legitimate for the accountant to ask for this sum in taxes.
• I will add to list when my thoughts have cleared more.

1.   Test pilot and the money

Each time someone gave me money the money was taken away, no problem. I will give you a case in point of the mockery of a hardworking person and the system.  AN air force team took the money because a test pilot wanted to have an opportunity to test out a brand-new plane. He did not have the money to do this and his boss said, in front of me, that if he can take my money without any problem then he has the money and he can do what he like. He spent the money on the plane and went up in the air. In one second the plane was totaled and all the money gone.  The government official would not give him any money but he found mine.

First of a all, I do not understand how all this could happen n the space of a few hours unless everything was all set.  Second all, because I do not speak to anyone, I hear my own thoughts.  I wonder can you spend thirty million dollars on a test plane that crashes right way? Or was the money taken just for personal use?  I wonder.

A.      Over $1000. An unheard amount

                     i.            I am both ostracized and isolated in my women<s shelter. I do not speak to anyone for days. I actually speak my thought to only two people: proven aggressors. My brother and my psychiatrist. And both of these people I speak to for only a few minutes. So, it hard to speak at all, never mind in defences of myself. I have gotten my income tax return from the government. And for the second year they are asking me for over one thousand dollars to pay back in taxes. I have nothing like that in the back. It was so incredibly difficult to pay back this money the first time I cannot believe that the government wants this enormous sum every year. Can they not wait until have even a normal life?

                   ii.            The idea comes again and again to me. How come they are asking me for taxes to such an extent for the first time in my life when I am sixty years old? Can it be because the shelter is run by an austere religious order (who’s ideas fill me with horror by the way) it is assumed that I too shun material possessions. I have to tell you that the order has a lot more going for them then just hating everything that I have done with years. Or even more likely, can it be something that is promoted by the people who have use of everything that I am supposed to have, that I refuse everything as well.

                 iii.            So meagre is my money I am confined to my room in a very hostile environment. Yeats and years go by and I amore an more victim to brutal aggressors or are so casual that complete silencing does’ seem worthy of noticing.

                 iv.            I speak to someone every two weeks and I forgot to tell my psychiatrist that the government is asking me for an unheard amount of money. And that I’m scared

                   v.            I only speak to my psychiatrist and my brother who I only see on the phone. He has for bid me to speak to any kind of financial advice including the accountant and also the investment counsellor.

2.    The Debt Diet

                     i.            I got a tape on how to avoid debt and pay off the money you owe. It was by Ophrah Winfrey. All were about families which I’m too poor to have a family. As a matter fact I’m too poor to have a friend. And too insane. Who solutions for even the poorest couple were so incredibly out of my league I was finally face-to-face with the extent of my poverty which I live from day today. A long time ago I grew accustomed to go for walks to exercise because its free.  This is the only thing that I can afford. There’s very little information to help people as poor as me so I try to glean what I can from the conversations that exist on the net.  Every thing one is about people who have enough money to travel, to have a family to have a house and a car.  Okay I guess I understand because why help people so poor as me. There’s a lot more money to make with opportunity.  The problem is to me these people are not at all destitute.

                   ii.            So much is my destitution severe, financially IWatch as your penitents from the religious orders around the world treat with contempt the small or expensive things that I offer them in payment or at holidays.   So much for trying to pay off things with barter.

                 iii.            But the problem is, concerning that, is as they go around with the signs of their personal poverty, such as neat but shabby attire, I cannot help but noticing that these very same people have use of a fleet of cars.  I cannot also not help but assume they have written off more than one outfit to wear, not because it is difficult but because they are from a culture that does this in the first place. All the things they refuse as superfluous come from a background and a culture that treats these things with contempt in the first place.  Okay perhaps that’s a little narrow for me but the crux of the issue is as your virtuous people come in symbols of poverty, I, as someone who I is truly poor, cannot help but notice that often your symbols are just symbols not reality. This first of all damages their reputation to me, and second of all makes me fear not giving to these people.  In other words, I listen too much to most hostile of policies without question or hope, simply because the woman has a whole bunch of people with her, often immoral I might add are not averse to stealing if something worthwhile comes to me. (Often this valuable thing comes after a great deal of intense work sometimes years, sometimes, incredibly stressful and sometimes brutally hurtful).  In their words, in the name or piety. But not at the time of the theft. Not all all. At that time it is the question of power.  And years and years go by making me more a more isolated.

                 iv.             I never had a credit card before and I had a lot of mountain money to pay off. However, it doesn’t make sense to me not to have a credit card. The solutions of cutting up both your debit card from the bank and your credit card are so incredibly limiting the only way I could figure out that the solutions are mentioned in the first place is the people who talk about something poverty or incredibly wealthier than me.

                   v.             

3.   The notE i O U $1000 and the justice system

Over 60 years ago or 40 years ago I was put in an instrument of torture so that my house and all my positions would be signed over to my aggressors. Still in my instrument of torture my aggressors took me to a judge or whoever is responsible for me signing over the house. I have been going to the school system since a small H. It is illegal not to I thought. Therefore, one of the first things I learned to do was read and write another thing I learned very fast was the extreme importance of the lost system, a lawyer and contracts. Desperate and a freight and watching a merciless system I tried to give the person which is the only think I gave a promise Siri note. I said I owe you a house and I put a picture of a box with a triangle on it. This is the documentation that has given the house to my aggressors for over 40 years and there seems to be no problem with it the question in my mind is since the government is asking me for taxes for the first time in my life now I am 60 is are they still texting me for the house that I don’t own or do I. How could this system for 40 years give everything I have two people who are torturing me with a promise Siri note like that and then call me homeless and a bum who lives outside on the street it is this very government that is simply asking me now for over $1000 on my meagre some of money that I live in so poor I am I look with all as people who have even a nice room on the fourth floor big because the wealthier I belong to an order who are also wealthier and always asking for money. I hope because of the circumstances no problem in assuming that this justice system will treat we with the utmost her if I do not pay this money back. I also wonder what else are they going to ask me since I’m supposed to have a house and a building and a business and I don’t know if it’s true I have no documentation are they waiting at the line chomping at the bit to throw me out on the street again and say at the same time then I’d love it because I don’t Accept money. Have every confidence that this horrible place will treat me with the atmosphere as they have for most of my life and because of money.             

Desperate and afraid and watching a merciless system I tried to give the person which is the only think I gave a promissory note. I said I owe you a house and I put a picture of a box with a triangle on it. This is the documentation that has given the house to my aggressors for over 40 years and there seems to be no problem with it the question in my mind is since the government is asking me for taxes for the first time in my life now I am 60 is are they still texting me for the house that I don’t own or do I   

If your order and it’s extended community or much wealthier or more connected than me keep on sending me proven violent aggressors to handle even the basic simple things once in a while so that they not even legal can I live how do they expect anything but aggressors to address and they do not only am I confined to my room I have been forced to shut up and not speak for over 12 years which is why I cannot express myself. Such is a bad institution which is where I presently live.

4.   Getting attacked to go Home and be with the family

One of the things that have been going on for years are invitations by my brother to come to his house which is far away and celebrate holidays with “the family”.  They, by the way have my name. For decades I went to their house a two-hour bus ride from where I live, and inevitably I was assaulted on the way.  (Hence, I had a psychiatric problem: repeated head injuries for violent attach).  Now with rest and food I have the ability to say no to these invitations.  It seems to me that people have been taking advantage of these violent attacks to claim I incompetent of handling any kind of material possessions or money.  Why I was getting attacked and stopping these attacks did not seem to be of any concern throughout these years.

losing my apple.3

So I  might lose my apple iPhone.  I have been told to spend all my time and (money) to concentrate on eating properly because I  am on a lot of medication.  They just increased it.  SO they said that I should not be weak when I get medication to make me healthier.  The one thing that I have to do to function normally is to eat properly.  The deal is, forget about everything and just eat.  Easier said than done.  First thing.  I hate to do it.  I hated to cook so much that I didn't"t.  When I got out the halfway house a way back, I looked like a large green lemon.  To me, a good day was going out to restaurants for each meal.  The deal was to find places to eat in which the meal cost under $5.00.  (there are).  But I was spending my money on performance then. So now I have more money. Right.  But Jesus the money goes so fast.

So I said to myself that the cell phones got to go.  As a matter of fact, so does the internet. Never mind the fact that I won<t be able to continue the work that I am doing,  And never mind that I won't have the phone to help me find out how to get tot he places I need to.  Or what exactly kind of coffee drink I am purchasing (i.e. what is the difference between a cappuccino, a latte, and a flat white).  Or what in hell the government is telling me about my welfare cheque (Like how much money can I have in the banks at one time before they take it away). never mind all that.  The question is what am I going to do when it goes.

The first thing I thought of is if the computers go I will just concentrate on y archives.  I.e. all the paper stuff.  But I have to do that all the time anyway.  Computer or no.  And I swear as god is my witness I will fight to the death if  I have to if the government rep in any way forces me to take on yet another degrading job that no one wants to do to earn my way on the meagre charity that I receive. Its really a waste that I have an elite education and with all the skills that I have learned, I am using my resources to fight to handle the most base jobs available that look vaguely clerical or housewifely. Never mind that I am using a top education to learn how to eat to function (just that) in a situation of extreme poverty.  Yes I know very well there are worse off.  I am threatened with this all the time.  They sa there are worse off than me.  translation: you can get there if you gripe.

SO the issue is what am I going to do with my time if I have no computer. It took a while but I figured out part of it.  Along with working with my archives, I will start where I left off before my own computer.  When I have the energy I will go to the library.  And also, I will restart my habit of handwriting my letters and sending them out to individuals.  As for how I am going to occupy myself during transit,  I suppose I can start hand-sketching again.  I will use my ipod because I don<t have to pay each month to use it. But often it doesn<t work on the bus. (or outside).

b

By the way, in the article, before I mentioned that I bought a life long contract with a phone company to use a phone.  That included any monthly fees that would be incurred.  the trouble has alway been that all my money is periodically taken away and I find myself up a creek.  So it might happen again. Unless I find out what happened to my phone with the contract.

Hopefully, I can get it back.  I am supposed to be able to get a new phone if it is lost or a new edition is put out on the market.  That will take care of the problem that might ocur if undesirable elements are now in possesssion of the thing.

If you have any information about the whereabouts of the thing please contact me at:

kfabain.kathynotes@gmail.com or

wwwfacebook.com/theartfabiancompany

or

www.twitter.com. my handle is @KKfabian.

ora at linked in (I don't know what the hell the address is)

looking for my apple 2

I am going to lose my iPhone.  It's going to be a big loss because I have been doing a lot of work on it.  I have an iPod but it doesn't have as good as a reception as the phone and many times I am stopped from my work through interference.

So my mind has been on the phone and a couple of days ago I realized I have another Apple system in my past.  You see, I have been paid lots of money in the past and it has always,(painfully) been taken away from me (after a whole lot work and adjusting to life I must say).  So a certain aristocrat suggested that when I get a lot of money I invest it in things.  Like real estate. or, what is more, important for the issue at hand, a great not just good computer system.

So I thought since I had been making the money through my computer work that I would try to get a lifetime contract of my mobile phone and computer ( I believe). That meant no matter how it broke down or I lost it the phone and whatever else in the system would be replaced by the company. As I recall it apple corporation but I am not sure.  I know it was owned by corporate Japan because the first reaction to my request was to turn it down as impossible.  I had at my time several million dollars for the project but the price I was willing to pay was not the issue.

It seemed that the whole thing would not go through and then a gentleman from Japan started talking to me and being an artsy person.  I am an artsy person which is actually looked down upon I thought a lot.  And then this really important person stepped up and said that he too was an impractical artsy person.  And we hit it off i that manner and I got the system ( and paid for it by the way).

Well, you remember I talked about being able to keep the money that I earned (and solutions so it would not be taken away)  Well suffice to say I no more expensive phone and computer system. I have a simple Old iPhone. and I might lose it soon. I even forgot until very recently about the other phone.  the firm might not have been apple but it was certainly Japanese.  I remember the kind artsy gentleman.  The thing is, I would like to know if you know, dear reader,how I can find out where that phone is, first of all. And second of all, it I can get my phone at least back  ( or a new one as the contract said that I would always get the newest phone as it was invented).  I really don't want to stop my work.  So if you know where I can inquire about the phone please write me on one of the social networks like linked in or Facebook or twitter  at @KKfabian.

 You can also email me at kfabian.kathynotes@gmail.com.

My facebook page is at www.facebook.com/theartfabiancompany.

Fighting for my Apple 1

I sm going to lose my apple.  What apple? My Apple Iphone.  The thought has been with me quite recently because my government pension has been cut.  I inherited some money from my deceased parents and apparently I am not to be affluent with the small sum I will receive from the estate and the welfare pension combined.  So the government pension has been cut quite dramatically. And I am watching the money I saved getting more and more meager.

On the subject, apparently somewhere on a welfare pension is not supposed to have more than $2500 in liquid assets in any given time.  It has been a hell of a job finding out exactly what THAT means.  Finally a couple of days ago I found the explanation.  Liquid capital is anything that can be spent immediately without losing its value.  Real estate and art are not liquid assets because as I well know if you sell them immediately you are bound to get next to nothing near their value.  But money in the bank is money in the bank and if it is spent there is no penalizing.

What I did not understand was the following. If you have recurring costs does the money in the bank that is counted as liquid assets exclude that?  What about savings?  The answer, I recently found out is that it doesn't matter what you are using the money for.  Rent or in case of emergency.  All that matters is the fact that the money can be taken out immediately without its value depreciating.

So my doctor said that for health reasons I should just concentrate on getting the right nutrition for my needs.  (I have been weak a lot and cannot work). They said I need good solid cooking in my stomach. As  I live in a residence with many people that are not interested in being too mobile it has been up to me to shop for more solid foods so that I could do my work.  And baby the money in the bank is going fast.  So my thoughts have been going to my Apple iPhone.  If things continue in this manner I am going to have to unplug the phone. This is a royal drag because I have been filing when I have been on transit.  I have a lot of stuff to do.  One is to sign my artwork that will be going online.  I have tons of it.  SO I have been working on my phone as I go do my errands (like picking up food and the like_.  It makes the traveling a lot more easy to take. So I have been doing a lot of thinking about losing my iPhone.

Fighting for Welfare

It took a long time me to find something I understood about the subject.  Finally after years I found the explanation: If you have a profession, no matter how skilled you are and no matter how long you've worked, and you have not made money from it, then your profession is categorized as a hobby.  If you make money from your lifelong calling then you can say you have worked. The difference is of fundamental importance when you are filing out your government documents. I have made a lot of money, millions from my work. And almost immediately, once the bread came in, it was taken away by force.  hence there is no trace of the bread. Hence I have not ever worked according to the government and my official files.

The issue has come to mind with my current financial situation.  I am supposed to be the daughter of the people who called themselves my parents for all my adult life.  (Forget being auctioned off as a slave from a prison not far from where I have always lived.  Also all my positions and my inheritance were auctioned off.  Think $50.00 starting some for millions of dollars worth of stocks or even actual money.  think the same sum for a $25,000.00 car. Forget about this). Lets say, for the sake of what I am talking about,  that these people were my blood relatives and were benevolent.  One of the practical things this means is that for fifty years I took the bus for a two hour bus ride and voyage there and back every week. Because to me, that was reality. the truth was unimportant. the reality was that these people were my parents.  

So fifty years have passed and the both of them have died.  What did they leave me?  They left me, dig this, enough money for now, (the money is not indexed) to live in a women's shelter that you pay from day to day.  So far, if I did not have this money I would have to leave. 

Now I am a welfare recipient all this time and have the dubious distinction of being relegated to a special category of senior welfare recipient called last resort welfare recipients. The welfare system has been known to jealously and unforgivingly guard its welfare recipients. Its frankly a lifetime calling.  They have a reputation to fight to hell so that you will never leave.

What this translates to is that the inheritance that my parents gave me is being scalped so much so that it is now about the same as welfare, give or take a few, way below the poverty line bucks. And as the tax time comes in I am being frankly murdered.  I live in my room. I go for walks to entertain myself.  I rarely can afford a movie and I go to the library to work. thank god that the library is near with the metro system. here. Which is why I want to stay in the shelter in the first place. 

There is much talk about cheaper rent in more distant neighborhoods and no talk about urban sprawl.  this is a taboo subject. which is rarely talked about.   To me urban sprawl means first of all  a great deal of difficulty to get any food at all.  (lack of transportation, lack of stores within walking distance)..  it also means lack of defence.  The dwellings are greatly impersonal to the new comers so that means that social personnel don't or can even begin to care or understand about your feelings or needs. It also means you are defenceless when subject to violent attacks either physically or verbally. 

However if things continue to go the way they are the small sum I pay for room and board will not be there.  I also, by the way pay for internet and a cell phone.  No TV. just that.  I go with Bell and Apple which are two dependable services. the amount I pay for this takes up a lot of my income but being socially isolated and also working I feel this is a necessary expense.  First of all this is defensive need. I can call for help or directions really fast. Also I get to do my work on a regular basis. I did not have the ability to do this before.

I also pay for the bus pass. every month. this means I can go for my walks free. I cannot even think of paying for an athletic club.  Also in the winter I can do my errands inside.  And go to the library when I need to. 

This takes up most of my bread. I find it hard even to buy the fruit and vegetables I have been trained to eat for a healthy life style. My home believes in a spartan fare. No spices no variety. Sometimes  I can't eat it. A lot of times.

So I have been watching in horror as I have been informed that I am to pay yet again 1200 dollars in taxes every year.  This is when I start to think. I mean the wheels really start turning.  I paid last year this sum and it has been absolutely horrible.  I also paid about $600 before this.

According to the will that was read I am supposed to, as one of two heirs, have received property and possessions from my parents.  I have never received any documentation of this. I have also never had any slips from the government that I have paid taxes on this.  I have received two letters from the government asking for about 150,000 dollars for the property I inherited. My brother says to ignore it. I do not think this is a wise thing to do. 

So there is a chartered accountant from the family doing my taxes. My brother has been asking me for some bills that I have to see if I can get some compensation from he government.  he wants monthly expenses added up and all of the information put in pdf form. This is two years we have been negotiating this.  I have about thirty bills that he considered acceptable to declare to the government.

Meanwhile I have, because I see myself in financial danger, having been subscribing to the QuickBooks bookkeeping system and I have been entering all my bills regularly for about three years. With rent, bus pass, food, cleaning supplies and all sorts of stuff I have hundreds of transactions recorded during the year. I told my brother that his high placed chartered accountant might not like someone who is receiving a last resort financial assistance cheque to be her responsibility and I was going to look into doing my own accountant with he ressources available.  I have been contacted by the Canadian government who offered a free service until the 25th of this month. And there is always on the radio H and R block talking about a fee of about $50 bucks to fil your income tax.  So I am checking the ressources available.  I find accounting system that connects to my bookkeeping system. My transactions are categorized and in the flash of a monkeys tale they are ready to contact the CRA and file my return. Just add money.  Its about $75 for the CRA.  This is a huge sum for someone in my financial situation. But I can do it.  

I have difficulty speaking to anybody. I have difficulty relaxing at all. For years I did not calm down. I just joined last year a meditation app that helps me enormously.  I have a simple computer and I subscribe to a security system as was suggested by Microsoft. So $75.oo bucks for the Canadian tax return is large expense. then there is the provincial that has to be filed.  I start thinking again.

I am supposed to have inherited some property and possessions from my parents. thank god I won"t be on he street again. My brother says I have them. Then he says I don't. I mean why did I occupy my life around people who leave me destitute without recourse for a lifetime. Its a fucking waste of time.

So I start to think of what I started out with in this article.  If you make money then what you do is considered work.  If you don<t make money then it is a hobby and you are unemployed.  Does this mean ditto for the house and property, the business and the stuff I was supposed to have inherited. (like my name and any money at all?).  It seems so. Because I extrapolate.  If you pay taxes on your property, etc., and the government receives it, then you own it. If you do not declare it then it is not yours.  Up shits creak..

remember the title of this article/ Fighting for welfare. I have a choice. to continue to receive money from a devouring welfare system.  Or to rely entirely on the family income. this is what I think is being fought for.  the problem.  I do not see the family solution to mean anything but forced labor (more than now).  Sooner or later that's what it comes down to.  Why? If left to recourse of just the family they have practically carte blanche power along with they social ties. If I try to hang on for welfare, they will be at least interested parties. Although they will be hostile they will also be concerned somehow.  even competitive.  They will be facing the same issues.  Talk about the devil and the deep blue sea.