The Benefits of Boundaries.

 

Answering the Podcast: The Daily Shine. it's Monday, March 7

There's a tweet I came across recently that I want to share with you. It's from a woman named Sierra. she wrote ‘my therapist said to remember that the other side of giving your all is being empty and if you continue to give your all you'll continue to be empty. Giving your all is unregulated and has no boundaries. Give Your best.”

30,000 people like this tweet. The other side of giving your all is being empty. It's an incredible mindset shift. so often we want to give our all to every aspect of our lives, but we must remember to save something for ourselves. That's where boundaries can be so helpful. boundaries give us room to do our best but protect what we need for our own well-being. maybe that's saving some of your emotional energy or physical or mental energy.
reflect on a boundary you can set this week; one that will serve you. I want you to think of a boundary you want to set this week a boundary that will help you give your best but not your all. maybe it's how much time you spend working or how much energy you give your friends or family or even time spent on social media.

 

It's moving time. So, this is a no-brainer. There's so much to do with moving that I'm running around like a chicken with his head cut off. First, I must take care of three major things. My inheritance, my personal collection, and the gallery for this residence. all had works that were installed and rather large archives. So now I have the daunting task to take all this off the wall and pack it properly. This is a time-consuming task. Never mind the fact that I don't know what's going to happen and as I pack it properly, I realize it's also packed so nicely it's easy to be confiscated. There's another problem. Because these are valuables, I do not feel comfortable just placing them even if they're secure in boxes in which they are not clearly identified. First, there are the labels that you put on the boxes and you could use a general term like merchandise or the personal collection or promotional material. But when it comes to separate valuables (like the individual perfume bottles of my collection) then it's necessary to identify where these pieces are going. There's nothing worse than giving away boxes of important possessions without even knowing what they were and who it went to. So, as I pack them carefully (and you can see that perfume bottles are made of glass and are fragile) I am filming them and as I film them, I must catalogue them. This is time-consuming. I'm on pins and needles so much that I am not knowing when to work I when to relax. I also have my regular work to do. and to top it off it's time to change of season for the wardrobe for. So, I must set a boundary as to when I relax. Recently I've been working so hard that I don't notice the time. And when I stop, I start to weep with stress.

Great work. boundaries can be tough to set and even tougher to enforce. It's easy to want to give our all to someone or something. but you must trust that enforcing your boundary will help you show up stronger in the long run. So, with that boundary you're setting this week I want you to imagine someone is crossing that boundary or you notice yourself crossing that boundary. think about how you'd speak up what would you say to someone else or yourself what specific words would you use how would you speak with compassionate directness. take a moment to write down how you'd communicate your boundary.

 

OK, this is another no-brainer. That’s why I'm journaling now. I have no time and no real ability to talk to communicate out loud. so, the best way I think I could set a boundary to myself or to others is to talk about the issues that I've been thinking about as I prepare to move.

I'm not much of a mover. I found that when I moved most generally it's been a miserable experience. Never mind the fact that I have been beaten up often as I got into my new place. Never mind having a horrible time unpacking. And never mind how bad I looked living for a long time forlorn amongst boxes and bags. since I've been talking about packing let's hit the packing part about the deal.

Now it's taking a lot of time to uninstall and pack my art collection. I now bought the boxes as a matter of fact all the boxes I think I need, and I have packing tape. Last time I moved I had no possessions except for a few clothes and small things. (I lost a large part of my personal art collection but that’s another story) So, I just went back and forth between my old residence and the new residence. I also had furniture but at that time my father was alive, and he paid for that to be transported to my new residence. (They refused it completely at the door but that's another story). No, I am looking and reading that you must pack your possessions into boxes OK. I've been doing that for a while and it's occurred to me I can't do the same as if they were in suitcases. Boxes are quite unwieldy for someone to carry quite long-distance. but all the how-to's talk about packing things in boxes. So, I've been duly packing them in boxes. I also bought them. So, I'm going to continue to do this. But a major problem is how to transport my boxes and my furniture. let's emphasize the cost movers.

So, I must set a boundary with the work I'm doing for moving.  I'm speaking to myself:

I was reading all these things that you should do and must and must do to get packing for your new residence. It seems like an enormous amount of work. And after a certain amount of reading or many weeks of reading, I finally found a very wise caution. The question was asked as to how much time should you devote to working to move. And the answer was to do a little each day. Start preparing about 8 weeks in advance and do a little each day do the best you can. OK, so I've got to calm down a little bit. I am not a Superman do the best you can.

Another thing is to concentrate on the gallery and get rid of unnecessary objects in your room for starters. The lockers can wait. Lots of things are boxed anyways down there

Beautiful job. Finally, I want to Fast forward to the future of you. how will you feel at the end of the week by sticking with this boundary? how will it benefit you and how will it help you save some time or energy for yourself? take this next minute to reflect on how this boundary will serve you.

OK, so I'm really stressed out a lot. I've not been meditating as much as I should. Have not been relaxing as much as I should. I have a difficult time picking up necessary items like comfortable clothing. I think I'm going to have to really try to spend a good amount of time to calm me down. Maybe more than most of the time. I should not work until I'm weeping. I mean you don't have a life if you don't worry about the quality of your life. I work from home, and it's always been difficult setting boundaries. now is the time to take a little more me-time. while keeping in mind that the task I might be doing might need more time. Me time will be increased; I think it's good to concentrate mostly on the move. I'm wondering if I should maybe take a week or two off from answering mail like taking a moving vacation. Maybe that would help.

Let's close with an affirmation: I will set boundaries that serve me.

you do so much but if you give your all every time, you're going to end up empty and you deserve to have something for you.

My Fathers Child

I am not part of the religious order. So, I have always been conscious of my own poverty. One thing I have been doing is amassing collectibles from the various thrift shops so that I can rectify my own condition of poverty. I also arrived here with some valuables for the same reason. Policy, as regards living conditions, confined me to a tiny room and a locker for all my possessions. So, when there was no place, I had to get rid of them. Unmentionable elements inhaled them they disappeared so quickly.

Society has called me many things: a bum, a homeless person, a charity case, a woman with the mind of a two-year-old child. (sociologically). The valuables I have collected: no.

In the quest of my journey of life I can only call myself My fathers’ child. He died a long ago trying to do the only logical thing a real estate broker should eventually do. Pursue his profession to the best he could do. So, when he got the opportunity to buy a beautiful and expensive house, he did it. Assailants murdered him there.

As I think of myself, I am my father’s child. Despite the fact, I see a future of destitution I continue to collect. Right now, I am packing up my possessions very nicely indeed. Even though the afore mentioned elements can nicely and neatly confiscate my valuables I am nicely packing them. My uncertain future holds for me the same fate as any devotee of a religious order. I never had any physical possessions and I do not need or deserve them. But I do. And I am not part of any religious order. In fact, I do not like religion. Go figure.

A Horror of Fat

(The picture above is of  Rosita, the ShowGirl Pig of the Movie SING)

The religious community that owns the building I live in has moved on and they sold our building. So after more than two decades in the same place, it is time to move on. I must find a new dwelling. 

An austere religious order makes many demands that the real world is not concerned with. Management did not allow us to prepare another meal if we did not like the meal offered. There was a fridge to put in meals if you worked or had the medication but only that. two very vocal residents fiercely guarded The fridge and its cotenants. So rather than get in trouble I did not put any food in the refrigerator. I ate what they served. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes, well, it was simple. It was so simple that finally, the lab results came back from the hospital. The medical team told me clearly to make some meals myself. They also cleared it with the management of my home. This must have taken some work.

Someone cleared out some room in the refrigerator. And there is a couple of microwaves. So, with the ingredients, the residence provides stuff at meals I make do. the doctor says (last time I saw him which was a while ago) I am dying. Certainly, when I look at my body in the mirror, I see a horror of fat. The receptionist at the entrance says that if I stay here there is no one to take care of me. So, it is time to move on, I guess. But another thing the community did not approve of was someone in the residence having a normal sum of money to live on when they leave. So now I am up the proverbial creek without a paddle. Once more, the future is uncertain. Once more I am facing homelessness.

The going phrase for someone in my situation is: Well, you come from somewhere. You did not live here your whole life. Where you come from, you just go back to. Another thing the community did not concert itself within the present residence I live in, is the very mortal happening of severe beatings and medical attention. They felt that the endurance of pain was a necessary condition of the people who like me, came to live in. Having had a lot of casual attacks in the place I came from, I stayed anyway.