Our Take on the German Underground

We were, as the expression goes, a rag tag, motley crew.  A dying elderly man, his mad daughter,(the writer), a down and out Salvation Army Hospital Doctor, and an unknown man with military background who knew how to live and work with those who have a compelling death wish.

Our Mission

There was a prominent German politiician who was just on the verge of a brilliant career. We had to get her granddaughter away from a life of crime so that she could go on to success.  If the teenager would continue the way she was going it was clear her father, the politicians much beloved son, would be in great peril.  If this politician would lose her son, she would not be able to work.

We had to go underground in germany and get this girl, from this place, back from the brink of ruin of herself and her family.

Surprisingly, even to myself, the person who knew a fair amount of the German underground was myself. What I knew were several things.

An underground figure that instilled fear and horror could be a wide range of things.  A horrible underground person could be the classic monster personality like Frankenstein  or Little Caesar or Anthony Perkins character in Psycho. But very often people were very much afraid or horrified by harmless things.  I had, as a movie star, had dealings with the African community in America.  These were people who had a very casual relationship with nudity and sexuality.

To them, a naked black man was just that.  But in the right circumstances it could fulfill the wildest dreams of any sex filmaker. All they had to do, was get into the right circumstances and make boogy man like noises.  Unarmed.  Not even attacking.  Unfortunately just being black and perhaps encountering,  one sheltered, hysterical, German adolescent, with more imagination than savvy.

Like I said before, I had been underground before and we had had very amazing results doing just that.  I think as I recall it was just to verify,if it was true. And brother, it was.

As I think of it, it all has to do with notions of beauty and lack of it.  these notions can be based in reality or not.  To be very scary the actor does not have to aggess or to be ugly. He or she just has to follow a certain formula of ugliness.  It came to me if a black man, a movie star in his prime,by the way, could do this, then it might be conceivable that an old man, a grandfather of eighty seven, might be able to do this.

In their element, they were beautiful.  Out of their element, they could be strange or terrible. We just had to add a certain element of surprise.   So this is what we came up with.

The young girl was not going to attend heer high school prom.  we would force the young girl to go the the prom, in front of everything, with an ugly date.  And the ugly date would be my dying, elderly father.  We would not mention his age.  Just that he was an ugly date.

well it worked perfectly.  The young girl was forced to go to the prom, infull site of all the other teens in her high school with a very ugle date.  He was bald, he had not teeth and he was skinny.

When we got to the prom I made sure that there were a lot of people important to the girl who would mock her because of her ugly date.  I thought that the school authorities would know of the danger and with a little encouragement, her teacher could be recruited to mock her enough and with people she knew that she would be thouroughly mortified.  None of us, except for making the young girl go to the prom on the armo f my father,  would fight at all.

As we hopêd the young girl was horrified.  And like in all good movies, once she was chastened, and we were taken to the authorities to explain things, my father revealed he was, in fact, not only eighty seven years old, he was a grandfather with a brand new baby granddaugher.  the little girl, repented heer ways and she renounced her foray into crime.  enough that her family, which by the way, had always been one of the most affluent families in germany, offered us a generous reward so that my fathers final wishes could be granted and I thought, our teams troubles resolved.