The Benefits of Boundaries.

 

Answering the Podcast: The Daily Shine. it's Monday, March 7

There's a tweet I came across recently that I want to share with you. It's from a woman named Sierra. she wrote ‘my therapist said to remember that the other side of giving your all is being empty and if you continue to give your all you'll continue to be empty. Giving your all is unregulated and has no boundaries. Give Your best.”

30,000 people like this tweet. The other side of giving your all is being empty. It's an incredible mindset shift. so often we want to give our all to every aspect of our lives, but we must remember to save something for ourselves. That's where boundaries can be so helpful. boundaries give us room to do our best but protect what we need for our own well-being. maybe that's saving some of your emotional energy or physical or mental energy.
reflect on a boundary you can set this week; one that will serve you. I want you to think of a boundary you want to set this week a boundary that will help you give your best but not your all. maybe it's how much time you spend working or how much energy you give your friends or family or even time spent on social media.

 

It's moving time. So, this is a no-brainer. There's so much to do with moving that I'm running around like a chicken with his head cut off. First, I must take care of three major things. My inheritance, my personal collection, and the gallery for this residence. all had works that were installed and rather large archives. So now I have the daunting task to take all this off the wall and pack it properly. This is a time-consuming task. Never mind the fact that I don't know what's going to happen and as I pack it properly, I realize it's also packed so nicely it's easy to be confiscated. There's another problem. Because these are valuables, I do not feel comfortable just placing them even if they're secure in boxes in which they are not clearly identified. First, there are the labels that you put on the boxes and you could use a general term like merchandise or the personal collection or promotional material. But when it comes to separate valuables (like the individual perfume bottles of my collection) then it's necessary to identify where these pieces are going. There's nothing worse than giving away boxes of important possessions without even knowing what they were and who it went to. So, as I pack them carefully (and you can see that perfume bottles are made of glass and are fragile) I am filming them and as I film them, I must catalogue them. This is time-consuming. I'm on pins and needles so much that I am not knowing when to work I when to relax. I also have my regular work to do. and to top it off it's time to change of season for the wardrobe for. So, I must set a boundary as to when I relax. Recently I've been working so hard that I don't notice the time. And when I stop, I start to weep with stress.

Great work. boundaries can be tough to set and even tougher to enforce. It's easy to want to give our all to someone or something. but you must trust that enforcing your boundary will help you show up stronger in the long run. So, with that boundary you're setting this week I want you to imagine someone is crossing that boundary or you notice yourself crossing that boundary. think about how you'd speak up what would you say to someone else or yourself what specific words would you use how would you speak with compassionate directness. take a moment to write down how you'd communicate your boundary.

 

OK, this is another no-brainer. That’s why I'm journaling now. I have no time and no real ability to talk to communicate out loud. so, the best way I think I could set a boundary to myself or to others is to talk about the issues that I've been thinking about as I prepare to move.

I'm not much of a mover. I found that when I moved most generally it's been a miserable experience. Never mind the fact that I have been beaten up often as I got into my new place. Never mind having a horrible time unpacking. And never mind how bad I looked living for a long time forlorn amongst boxes and bags. since I've been talking about packing let's hit the packing part about the deal.

Now it's taking a lot of time to uninstall and pack my art collection. I now bought the boxes as a matter of fact all the boxes I think I need, and I have packing tape. Last time I moved I had no possessions except for a few clothes and small things. (I lost a large part of my personal art collection but that’s another story) So, I just went back and forth between my old residence and the new residence. I also had furniture but at that time my father was alive, and he paid for that to be transported to my new residence. (They refused it completely at the door but that's another story). No, I am looking and reading that you must pack your possessions into boxes OK. I've been doing that for a while and it's occurred to me I can't do the same as if they were in suitcases. Boxes are quite unwieldy for someone to carry quite long-distance. but all the how-to's talk about packing things in boxes. So, I've been duly packing them in boxes. I also bought them. So, I'm going to continue to do this. But a major problem is how to transport my boxes and my furniture. let's emphasize the cost movers.

So, I must set a boundary with the work I'm doing for moving.  I'm speaking to myself:

I was reading all these things that you should do and must and must do to get packing for your new residence. It seems like an enormous amount of work. And after a certain amount of reading or many weeks of reading, I finally found a very wise caution. The question was asked as to how much time should you devote to working to move. And the answer was to do a little each day. Start preparing about 8 weeks in advance and do a little each day do the best you can. OK, so I've got to calm down a little bit. I am not a Superman do the best you can.

Another thing is to concentrate on the gallery and get rid of unnecessary objects in your room for starters. The lockers can wait. Lots of things are boxed anyways down there

Beautiful job. Finally, I want to Fast forward to the future of you. how will you feel at the end of the week by sticking with this boundary? how will it benefit you and how will it help you save some time or energy for yourself? take this next minute to reflect on how this boundary will serve you.

OK, so I'm really stressed out a lot. I've not been meditating as much as I should. Have not been relaxing as much as I should. I have a difficult time picking up necessary items like comfortable clothing. I think I'm going to have to really try to spend a good amount of time to calm me down. Maybe more than most of the time. I should not work until I'm weeping. I mean you don't have a life if you don't worry about the quality of your life. I work from home, and it's always been difficult setting boundaries. now is the time to take a little more me-time. while keeping in mind that the task I might be doing might need more time. Me time will be increased; I think it's good to concentrate mostly on the move. I'm wondering if I should maybe take a week or two off from answering mail like taking a moving vacation. Maybe that would help.

Let's close with an affirmation: I will set boundaries that serve me.

you do so much but if you give your all every time, you're going to end up empty and you deserve to have something for you.