The Fabian question

Prelude

My mother was thoroughly traumatized in the Second World War. She had lost all of her family and was the only living survivor my father as well had lost all his family but it was my mother that was the problemsshe could not control the conversation I was afraid of attack all the time by the same people who killed her family this was a very bad thing since we had been placed in the neighbourhood we're almost everybody was of the same nationality as the people who killed her familyithis would mean that there would be trouble for certain so it was to be expected that we would one day be up ducted to Germany and it was there that both my mother and father were murdered. as a small child I found myself alone survivor I was also very bright child and have been kidnapped before this was not the first people that I would call my parentsas a small child I found myself alone survivor I was also very bright child and have been kidnapped before this was not the first people that I would call my parents although the people fromThe town I lived in were forced were told to kill meiit was clear to them this would be a mistake I was much too intelligent for them to kill I would make a great difference for their communitys so there were several people who left Europe and snuck back into Canada. Ffor myself this would only be the beginning of my problem once I arrive to the only place I knew as home it was clear someone had taken my density and I had actually no place to live.  

Confused and disjointed thoughts

·          I was at this point that several actions took place any name that I knew was brainwashed from my head. I was also witness to a clean up after a rather terrible gang raped and forced pregnancy. T The woman had born an illegitimate child who she loathed. I I watched the woman killed her child. It would be the first time I would receive the name that I have to this dayt. This is the name of the murdered  child. The name is Kathy Vivian Fabian.

·          at the time I got the name I was happy to take it. I was under the impression I would choose my own name and I had to choose it myself. I came up with the miraculously intelligent idea to choose this young little babies name. I reasoned it was because someone would understand that the child had been murdered and that the replacement of my name was a foul thing to me. To me what The name meant  was twofold. Number one I had witnessed a horrible murder. And number two it was a horrible thing that I had to get rid of my name and choose myself a new one. U unfortunately this was very convenient for the criminal. If I became Kathy Fabian and Fabian even for a little while she never died right at that time. This is that foul play could be more easily hidden if the couple had time.

·          Let us go forward a little bit of whilea apparently as I think of it now I must've had no name for a little while. B very soon I would witness another horrible crime again. I had probably already witnessed the actual murder of my real father and was thoroughly traumatized from it and actually the witnessing of civil really brutal murders. So when I heard his victim screaming for help I rushed to save him. It is very convenient that the person that I said was actually Andrew Fabian who was the person who killed the first child. B when he suggested I keep the name Kathy Vivian Fabian because he likes little girls I thought that was an excellent idea and that he would be a benevolent father. I realize now as an adult he doesn't have to be a father at all but a mentor and he has been a very brutal and terrible mentor and very painful.

·          His mentorship is very deceiving in two ways . To myself and many witnesses it looks like I have a very rich mentor and a benevolent one. But if he is hostile or I'm concerned I can also have absolutely no name and identity at the same time without him having any problem whatsoever. I have many grave doubts about his benevolence and his mentor ship because I have been screaming in horrible pain for years. Also I retain knowledge that Kathy Vivian Fabian is the name of his daughter and Sophia rains and not mine originallyAlso I retain knowledge that Kathy Vivian Fabian is the name of his daughter and Sophia rains and not mine originally. since my own name was brainwashed out of me I have no knowledge of my actual name at this time this is a very dangerous thing in a convent residence. It looks suspiciously like I have had never any name. I I must resolve the issue I must know who I am and where I came from. The very fact that the luck of my name causes me such distress at this time is an indication people have said that I have add originally name and one that I was proud of. The question remains how do I find out where I come from and who I am.

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